UNREQUITED
DREAMS
Painting and words by Casey Guidinger
Acrylic on canvas
With a nod to the surrealists, particularly painter Gertrude Abercrombie, my intention with Unrequited Dreams was to put to rest a serial dream I’ve been having for over 10 years. The painting is an ode to the feelings of dissatisfaction and anxiety that arise when you wake up suddenly night after night and wonder what it is you haven’t done or dealt with during the day, to the unfulfilled need or desire that wreaks havoc on your subconscious and keeps you pacing around a room in the dark. Ultimately, the only way to make yourself feel safe is to put those feelings into boxes and stack them neatly in the corner. But what happens when you open them?
SOMNILOQUY
Poems by Alyssa DiJoseph
Design by Doug Daniels
NIGHTMARE
There are some things I can’t explain:
the way I slipped into you
like a familiar embrace
how when I bite my tongue
I see scarlet
and taste nectar
sweet
sticky
dark
the way a gut punch
can give me the butterflies
and I’m winded
but I’m smiling
all razor-sharp edges
and gold-filled cavities.
I’m not sure how I got here.
Maybe I went left
when I should’ve gone right
or down
when I should’ve gone up
or maybe I’m
directionless
falling
ever
falling
to nowhere.
PARALYSIS
There’s something about the way
you hold me
like you know me.
Lying chest to chest
I can’t tell if we’re
breathing as one
or if I’m
not breathing at all.
I think I could stay here.
FALSE
AWAKENING
Under the night’s blanket
she reaches for my hand.
The corners of her eyes ripple
with remnants of laughter
as she whispers an invitation
I’m far too willing to accept.
She is a well-worn T-shirt—
comfortable, frayed, my favorite
and I don’t care where we go
as long as we’re together.
Look closer
Look closer
Look closer
She is not what she seems.
LUCID
With everyone else I am
unraveled
foggy eyes
and charred lungs.
With you I am
unbound
cherry cheeks
and silver tongue
everything
just a little bit clearer.
ARCANA
Art by Nikki Rodriguez
Fortunes by Elaina Ilminen
There’s something about her. I’ve known her through past lives and multiple dimensions. Our two souls are drawn to each other through lifetimes.
Download and print
The Chariot
Life may pull you in opposite directions. Where does your compass point?
Upright
Control, willpower, focus, action, determination, success
Reversed
Forcefulness, opposition, obstacles, powerlessness, lack of direction
Coins
The seed holds much potential. What will grow?
Upright
New opportunity, resources, stability, manifestation, abundance
Reversed
Scarcity, stinginess, deficiency, adversity, missed chances
Cups
Your cup overfloweth.
Upright
Love, new feelings, compassion, creativity, intuition, awakening
Reversed
Gloom, emptiness, cold, repression, creative blockage, absence of love
Daggers
There is no greater victory than one through adversity.
Upright
Breakthrough vision, clarity, success, truth, focus
Reversed
Confusion, doubt, miscommunication, destruction, hostility
Death
Every chapter comes to an end. Turn the page.
Upright
Endings, transformation, transition, change, release, oblivion
Reversed
Resistance, negative patterns, stagnancy, decay, fear of change
The Devil
Some say there’s no better dance partner.
Upright
Oppression, dependency, obsession, addiction, restriction, sexuality
Reversed
Release, independence, detachment, revelation, reclaiming power
The Emperor
Goals can lift you up or pull you down.
Upright
Authority, establishment, structure, stability, control, focus
Reversed
Tyrant, domination, rigidity, recklessness, undisciplined, inflexibility
The Empress
An empty throne will be filled. You can either step up or step away.
Upright
Creativity, beauty, femininity, nature, sensuality, nurturing, abundance
Reversed
Insecurity, negligence, creative blockage, dependence, smothering
The Fool
Step into the unknown with abandon.
Upright
Idealism, beginnings, originality, freedom, spontaneity, innocence
Reversed
Recklessness, naivete, riskiness, distractedness, gullibility
The Hanged Man
Are you waiting, resting or wasting time?
Upright
Sacrifice, deliberation, pause, surrender, perspective
Reversed
Delays, resistance, stalling, indecision, apathy, disinterest
The Hermit
The journey inward can be the most perilous one.
Upright
Soul-searching, introspection, inner guidance, contemplation, solitude
Reversed
Isolation, loneliness, rejection, reclusive, withdrawal
The Hierophant
The geese fall in line and form a V. Which way are you going?
Upright
Spirituality, religious beliefs, conformity, tradition, institutions, education
Reversed
Rebellion, freedom, ignorance, unconventionality, new methods
The High Priestess
Voices. Voices. Voices—they’re your own. Listen closely.
Upright
Intuition, sacred knowledge, divinity, subconsciousness, spirituality, mystery
Reversed
Secrets, withdrawal, silence, hidden motives, confusion, superficiality
Judgment
The pieces are coming together. The picture is becoming clear.
Upright
Judgment, rebirth, renewal, absolution, purpose
Reversed
Self-doubt, inner critic, self-loathing, inability to learn lessons
Justice
However the scales weigh, the decision is firm and final.
Upright
Justice, fairness, consequence, truth, integrity, law
Reversed
Unfairness, avoidance, dishonesty, retribution, irresponsibility
The Lovers
Take heed: At first, lust and love often look the same.
Upright
Love, romance, relationships, balance, choices, unity
Reversed
Detachment, indecision, imbalance, conflict, unrequited
The Magician
The heavens and earth are more alike than you may think.
Upright
Manifestation, resourcefulness, willpower, desire, concentration
Reversed
Manipulation, cunning, trickery, illusion, deception, untapped talents
The Moon
The dark side or the light—either way you’re on the moon.
Upright
Illusion, anxiety, confusion, intuition, complexity, secrets
Reversed
Clarity, conscious, understanding, release, peace, revelation
The Star
Connect the stars in the sky. What shape do they make?
Upright
Hope, faith, purpose, renewal, inspiration, healing
Reversed
Despair, negativity, hopelessness, disconnection, despondence
Strength
The truest strength is vulnerability.
Upright
Courage, persuasion, influence, confidence, compassion
Reversed
Self-doubt, low energy, cowardice, weakness, inadequacy
The Sun
Brilliant light can be beautiful, or it can be blinding.
Upright
Joy, truth, warmth, success, vitality, confidence
Reversed
Obstructions, sadness, pessimism, conceitedness, unrealistic
Temperance
You’re floating—both in and on the water.
Upright
Balance, moderation, patience, purpose, calm, harmony
Reversed
Imbalance, recklessness, excess, discord, realignment
The Tower
Change doesn’t come from comfort.
Upright
Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening
Reversed
Delay, resistance, fear of change, stationary, caution
Wands
The truest magic is within.
Upright
Inspiration, spark, growth, potential, passion, initiative
Reversed
Delay, drain, distraction, hesitancy, doldrums
Wheel of Fortune
Some forces spin out of control. Can we still claim our fate?
Upright
Good luck, karma, cycles, destiny, decision, fortune
Reversed
Misfortune, resistance, breaking cycles, uncontrollability, adversity
The World
You are revolving around something significant.
Upright
Completion, belonging, accomplishment, travel, harmony
Reversed
Shortcuts, delays, lack of closure, incompleteness, emptiness
The Chariot
Life may pull you in opposite directions. Where does your compass point?
Upright
Control, willpower, focus, action, determination, success
Reversed
Forcefulness, opposition, obstacles, powerlessness, lack of direction
Coins
The seed holds much potential. What will grow?
Upright
New opportunity, resources, stability, manifestation, abundance
Reversed
Scarcity, stinginess, deficiency, adversity, missed chances
Cups
Your cup overfloweth.
Upright
Love, new feelings, compassion, creativity, intuition, awakening
Reversed
Gloom, emptiness, cold, repression, creative blockage, absence of love
Daggers
There is no greater victory than one through adversity.
Upright
Breakthrough vision, clarity, success, truth, focus
Reversed
Confusion, doubt, miscommunication, destruction, hostility
Death
Every chapter comes to an end. Turn the page.
Upright
Endings, transformation, transition, change, release, oblivion
Reversed
Resistance, negative patterns, stagnancy, decay, fear of change
The Devil
Some say there’s no better dance partner.
Upright
Oppression, dependency, obsession, addiction, restriction, sexuality
Reversed
Release, independence, detachment, revelation, reclaiming power
The Emperor
Goals can lift you up or pull you down.
Upright
Authority, establishment, structure, stability, control, focus
Reversed
Tyrant, domination, rigidity, recklessness, undisciplined, inflexibility
The Empress
An empty throne will be filled. You can either step up or step away.
Upright
Creativity, beauty, femininity, nature, sensuality, nurturing, abundance
Reversed
Insecurity, negligence, creative blockage, dependence, smothering
The Fool
Step into the unknown with abandon.
Upright
Idealism, beginnings, originality, freedom, spontaneity, innocence
Reversed
Recklessness, naivete, riskiness, distractedness, gullibility
The Hanged Man
Are you waiting, resting or wasting time?
Upright
Sacrifice, deliberation, pause, surrender, perspective
Reversed
Delays, resistance, stalling, indecision, apathy, disinterest
The Hermit
The journey inward can be the most perilous one.
Upright
Soul-searching, introspection, inner guidance, contemplation, solitude
Reversed
Isolation, loneliness, rejection, reclusive, withdrawal
The Hierophant
The geese fall in line and form a V. Which way are you going?
Upright
Spirituality, religious beliefs, conformity, tradition, institutions, education
Reversed
Rebellion, freedom, ignorance, unconventionality, new methods
The High Priestess
Voices. Voices. Voices—they’re your own. Listen closely.
Upright
Intuition, sacred knowledge, divinity, subconsciousness, spirituality, mystery
Reversed
Secrets, withdrawal, silence, hidden motives, confusion, superficiality
Judgment
The pieces are coming together. The picture is becoming clear.
Upright
Judgment, rebirth, renewal, absolution, purpose
Reversed
Self-doubt, inner critic, self-loathing, inability to learn lessons
Justice
However the scales weigh, the decision is firm and final.
Upright
Justice, fairness, consequence, truth, integrity, law
Reversed
Unfairness, avoidance, dishonesty, retribution, irresponsibility
The Lovers
Take heed: At first, lust and love often look the same.
Upright
Love, romance, relationships, balance, choices, unity
Reversed
Detachment, indecision, imbalance, conflict, unrequited
The Magician
The heavens and earth are more alike than you may think.
Upright
Manifestation, resourcefulness, willpower, desire, concentration
Reversed
Manipulation, cunning, trickery, illusion, deception, untapped talents
The Moon
The dark side or the light—either way you’re on the moon.
Upright
Illusion, anxiety, confusion, intuition, complexity, secrets
Reversed
Clarity, conscious, understanding, release, peace, revelation
The Star
Connect the stars in the sky. What shape do they make?
Upright
Hope, faith, purpose, renewal, inspiration, healing
Reversed
Despair, negativity, hopelessness, disconnection, despondence
Strength
The truest strength is vulnerability.
Upright
Courage, persuasion, influence, confidence, compassion
Reversed
Self-doubt, low energy, cowardice, weakness, inadequacy
The Sun
Brilliant light can be beautiful, or it can be blinding.
Upright
Joy, truth, warmth, success, vitality, confidence
Reversed
Obstructions, sadness, pessimism, conceitedness, unrealistic
Temperance
You’re floating—both in and on the water.
Upright
Balance, moderation, patience, purpose, calm, harmony
Reversed
Imbalance, recklessness, excess, discord, realignment
The Tower
Change doesn’t come from comfort.
Upright
Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening
Reversed
Delay, resistance, fear of change, stationary, caution
Wands
The truest magic is within.
Upright
Inspiration, spark, growth, potential, passion, initiative
Reversed
Delay, drain, distraction, hesitancy, doldrums
Wheel of Fortune
Some forces spin out of control. Can we still claim our fate?
Upright
Good luck, karma, cycles, destiny, decision, fortune
Reversed
Misfortune, resistance, breaking cycles, uncontrollability, adversity
The World
You are revolving around something significant.
Upright
Completion, belonging, accomplishment, travel, harmony
Reversed
Shortcuts, delays, lack of closure, incompleteness, emptiness
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